The holiday season is often a mixed bag of joy, stress, and—let’s be honest—sometimes a bit of chaos. But if you’re dealing with grief during this time, the season can feel like a cruel reminder that not everything is as merry as the commercials make it look. If you’re grieving a loved one, a relationship, here are 5 Tips for Coping with Grief During the Holidays.
1. Acknowledge the Feels, Don’t Bury Them Under Holiday Wrapping Paper
We’ve all heard the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it,” but during the holidays, the last thing you want to do is pretend you’re okay when you’re not. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or completely overwhelmed by the world’s insistence on cheer and goodwill. Recognize those feelings as they come, instead of forcing a smile and hoping it’ll all magically get better. Let yourself have a moment to grieve—whether that means a good cry, some quiet time, or screaming into a pillow. You’re allowed.
2. Create New Traditions (Even If They’re Ridiculous)
Sometimes old holiday traditions can bring more grief than comfort. Maybe you always decorated the tree with that person you lost, or maybe you’ve realized you’d rather not watch the same cheesy holiday movie again. That’s fine! It’s time to create new, ridiculous, and totally untraditional traditions. Maybe you start a “grief-free” Christmas dinner where you only eat cookies for dinner (I’m not judging, I’m just saying it’s a vibe). Or perhaps it’s as simple as wearing pajamas all day or making a “no-guilt” list of things you won’t do this year. Embrace your inner rebel. You do you.
3. Give Yourself Permission to Say No (Without Feeling Like a Grinch)
The holidays can be a minefield of invites, obligations, and people who “just want to check in.” Here’s the truth: You don’t owe anyone anything. No, seriously. You’re allowed to say no to anything that feels too overwhelming. Maybe you don’t feel like attending every holiday party or making 12 types of cookies for the school bake sale. That’s fine! You’re not the Grinch—you’re just trying to keep your head above water. Set boundaries. Don’t overextend yourself. If someone gets offended, remind them that you’re doing this for your own mental health and that they should be grateful you didn’t cancel last minute like you did last year.
4. Honor the Memory of Your Loved One (But Don’t Let It Consume You)
Grieving during the holidays is hard. The reminders are everywhere—empty chairs at the table, old photos, the one present that you meant to get them. But here’s a secret: honoring their memory doesn’t mean wallowing in sadness. Try incorporating little touches to honor them, like lighting a candle in their memory, donating to a cause they cared about, or simply talking about them with loved ones who understand. Just don’t let the sadness completely take over your holiday cheer. You can grieve and still have fun—it’s a delicate balance, but one worth fighting for.
5. Reach Out for Grief Support (And Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help)
I know, I know—it can feel like you’re being a burden when you ask for support. But guess what? People want to help, and most of the time, they just don’t know how to offer it. Call a friend, join a grief support group, or ask your family to pitch in. Even if you just need someone to binge-watch Christmas specials with you and not talk about feelings, that’s support too. You’re allowed to lean on others. Trust me, it’ll make you feel less like you’re drowning in a sea of holiday expectations.
Grief Doesn’t Have to Be a Holiday Party Pooper
Surviving grief during the holidays isn’t easy, but I hope that these 5 tips for coping with grief during the holidays is helpful. It’s a challenge, a marathon, and a constant balancing act between honoring your emotions and navigating the high expectations of the season. But with a little humor, some new traditions, and a good dose of self-compassion, you can make it through. And remember—if all else fails, there’s always wine, cookies, and a solid Netflix binge. Happy (and hopefully not too stressful) holidays!
